Valentine's, White and Black days...respectively.

A long time ago, so the story goes, there lived a rather nasty emperor who went by the name of Claudius the second.

With a nose like that I would probably
be just as bitter....

He was the mighty leader of an ailing Rome,  and it was his belief that marriage made men weak. Along with weakness, the promise to enter a joint life together came with too much emotional baggage. By show of hands, who here thinks Mom didnt love him enough, or was he just watching too much Dr.Phil? 

Either way he banned the sacred ceremony of marriage to keep his amry strong and battle ready.  BOOOOO!!!!!

*enter the hero, Valentino, not the designer* - YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

Gotta love him!

In the same city, a few blocks away, there lived a saint of a man. Literally.

He saw the agony that young lovers endured by not being allowed to marry, and in defiance of that anti-family-man-no-one-actually-voted-for, decided to perform marriages in secret.

The unmistakable stench of marital bliss led guards straight to his door and he got arrested. The emperor was quite cross. Fast forward a few torture scenes and his punishement for such heinous disobedience was execution, boo. When? 14 February. Fast forward some more unhappily unmarried years, smallpox nails the emperor. Karma's a bitch, right. THE END (Well thats at least one version of the story). And so, as history goes (and because who doesn't love a martyr?), today we celebrate Valentine's day, thanks to Saint Valentine.

Although I think that all holidays of this sort (not that Valentine's day is really a holiday) have become merely a capitalist spending frenzy, Korea of all places has taken this frenzy and run with it (ed note: level up-ed? since they dig games and all?). The 14th of February is still Valentine's day for all intent and purpose: like anywhere else in the world, this day symbolises love bewteen two people and includes giving of the usual chocolates, flowers and love letters. Note I said "giving" and not "exchanging of".  This is beacause Valentine's day in Korea is the day on which the giving is done only by the girls, ladies and women who have crushes on a boy, boyfriend, or husband, or loved one.

Now, before there is a feminist uprising or a facebook petition to shut down my blog, let me finish. One month from today, on the 14th of March, Korea will celebrating yet another special day of love.  This day is reffered to as "WHITE DAY" and is the day on which boys, men and husbands get to repay the kindness and love shown to them 

on Valentine's day. Yes more chocolates, flowers, candy, cards, sexy undies and the rest of it.

"What about all the poor single people?" I hear you ask. Silly me I nearly forgot about them. In case you thought 2 consecutive months of swiping the plastic was enough, I am here to set the record straight: one month on, the 14th of April, and another "special" day rolls on by. This time I say "special" as you might use it when talking about your "special friend" Dave who thinks he is a "jedi".  Yes this day is probably less of a celebration and more of an acceptance/better luck next time day, aptly called "BLACK DAY".  It is tradition for single people to get together and share a meal of 자장면 (Ja-Jang-Myeon). It's called Black Day not because rejected solos fall into a fit of depression, but because the dish is

chinese black noodles. hmmmmmm FUN, noodles dont taste bitter if you haven't spoiled your pallatte with CANDY!! 

So whether you are a single, a secret admirer, or the best one: happily in love, here's to wishing you a great day Valentine's day 2011.

Much love  

xx

My Yummy List of SA goodies~!

So it is with a little bit of shock, a bit more panic and an enormous amount of excitement that I realise this morning that just 5 days from now I will find myself in international airspace, zooting over a multitude of counties and a couple of continents to get to the land I call HOME.   Beside seeing awesome friends and my amazing family and besides DELICIOUS home cooked mother's food (that magically appears and I do not have to leave the house for) there are a few other 'proudly South African' goodies that are adding to my excitement.

This list (most of which I suspect will be edible) should serve both as a check-list for me and 명우, and as a cautionary sequel to the "culture shock" post for my friends who will be arriving soon.  Alternatively it could be used as a guide for whenever you want to send me a parcel of love.

THE LIST

1- ULTRAMEL CUSTARD 

I miss few things as much as I do Ultramel (Vanilla) Custard. Oh good heavens, that bright yellow goodness!  It's like edible sunlight!!! THAT'S HOW HAPPY IT MAKES ME!!!! As a child, teenager, younger me .....well I still have a dream of owning an Ultramel Custard factory with a designated swimming tank. Kind of like the old granny in the movie Patch Adams, with the noodles in the swimming pool - but not. 

2- INEDIBLE SUNLIGHT

3-OUMA RUSKS.

Yes, Molteno*....well done! You have created a void that I crave to be filled, by an Ouma.  And if you don't dip your Ouma, you're no friend of mine. ;)  

*Molteno is a TINY 'dorpie' where an Ouma one day started making the best darn rusks in the world.

4- MARIE BISCUITS

While we are on the subject of dunking and dipping, let us move on to a 'classic childhood memory snack', the Marie Biscuit.  This biscuit, in my humble cookie conesseur opinion, is more 'more-ish' than the so called 'eat some more' tennis biscuit.  Just ask my older sister, she could eat 2 packs in one sitting (no word of a lie).

*Caution: do not dunk longer than 1.8 seconds, and keep a teaspoon handy.

5- MRS BALL'S CHUTNEY

What's in a name?? According to Shakespeare a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.  So lets just pretend that the name is not Mrs Ball's chutney and enjoy the magic found bottled up in it. No really, it IS MAGICAL. 

6- ALL GOLD TOMATO SAUCE

Almost as magical as the aforementioned Mrs Ball's condiment and equally as necessary at any braai (and a majority of other meals too) is All Gold Tomato sauce.  With no preservatives and 36 tomatoes crammed into each bottle, how can one go wrong?

- useless fact: my first ever bicycle was won in an All Gold tomato sauce competition. I was about 5 and won a bike that I am sure even Lance would struggle to straddle. So I had to trade in the giant road-bike for my first kiddie-mountain bicycle. 

7- BRAAI

Yes, yes!!  I know I am a vegetarian. Just sitting around the fire with a beer, practising all kinds of superstitions to make the smoke blow to the other side of the circle, while waiting for the salads and potato-bake is enough of a reason to have it on the list. 명우 you are going to LOVE this meat!!! 많이 먹어요~!!!!!! ^^

8 - STEERS VEGGIE BURGER

Call me Pavlov's bitch but you just say steers veggie burger and I could salivate a barrel for you.  With that yummy steers sauce! OH.My.GRACIOUS.!!!! I want one NOW!!!

9- CREAM SODA

Be it at pre-drinks, drinks, post-drinks, recovery-I-think-I-might-die-Drinks or simply soft-drinks this green marvel of happiness is sorely missed in my life.  Sparletta cream soda its so goooooooooood~!!!

10- SWEETIE PIES and CARAMELLO BEARS

These are two things that I do not miss that often, but when I crave them you best not get on my wrong side. They always remind me of last minute pick-n-pay purchases combined with immediate/car park satisfaction.Car park satisfaction sounds dodgy and wrong, but its not the dirty exhibitionist kind that I am referring to.  What I mean is getting lost in the too-sweet-but-too-good taste that can make you forget just about any problem you have with the first bite.
                            

Well there are my top 10, in no particular order.  I realise that all you meat eaters might be in a state of shock that I didn't include BILTONG, DROEEWORS, BOEREWORS, SPUR RIBS and TINNED SMOKED MUSCLES but in all honesty I cant miss something that I wont eat even if it is readily available, right???hmmm.....  ;)

If you are coming to the airport to meet me in SA, or seeing me within the first couple of days reread this post and take notes. :)  And if you are coming to Korea soon, make sure you pack your favourite goodies, and maybe some extra deodorant (it is not ALWAYS easy to come by).

Looking forward to hearing what I have missed out on my list.

x

culture shock-absorber

This post is dedicated to the the masses of friends who will, very shortly, be joining me in enjoying all the adventures that teaching English in South Korea has to offer.  The new academic year will be starting soon and I have some great friends (from SA mostly) arriving in a week.  So this is for you guys.

Let me preface this post by saying that you are in for the adventure of a lifetime. You are going to have the opportunities to travel (even farther abroad than Korea), meet new fascinating people from different cultures, have your taste buds not quite be able to explain what you are trying,  see sights that you have not even got the capacity to imagine yet, learn a new language, make great new friends and all of this while you are earning great money doing something that you love (and if you are not a teacher yet, something that you WILL LOVE).  There is no doubt in my mind that you are going to be crazy happy here. Whenever somebody says "let me preface this" you should always anticipate the "BUT"....But along with all these great things you will experience a strange sensation in your first little while here. You not going to have mom's cooking and cleaning and you wont yet understand any of the foreign looking signs, nor will you comprehend what the lady behind the counter is saying while you fumble with the monetary notes that have ridiculously big numbers printed on them.  You will be experiencing some culture shock. 

Here are a few things that might make you aware of the fact that you are no longer in the proverbial Kansas.

1)Crowds of 'foreigners'.

 It seems rather obvious, but it is something I never really thought about before coming here.  You will be constantly surrounded by Asian people.  They are lovely, friendly, GENEROUS people but you will not see the rainbow nation that you are used to everyday of your life (so far).  This will be even more evident if you end up staying in Seoul (which has a population of about 20 million people, if you includes the satellite cities), if you don't end up in Seoul or Busan or a big city point 2 will be more real for YOU.  

(pic taken from http://www.youngsamsung.com)

2) Staring. 

Its not that bad anymore, maybe because i am used to it?? Or maybe because the Korean population is getting more used to people like me?? Either way it does still happen and it has the potential to make you feel a little uncomfortable. 아줌마s (Ajumas, or the old aunties) could even stare down Chuck Norris....its a fact, especially if Chuck happens to find himself of the subway.  These stares are not daggers being darted at you or hairy eyeballs, they are just curious...for the most part...I THINK??

(pic from http://blogs.koreanclass101.com)

3)Communication 

EVERYTHING will seem foreign to you, and so it should. The language and the sounds of the language will not register at first. The squiggles and lines that form and make up the letters and characters and words will look more like the doodles you make when chatting absentmindedly on the phone. But it is an AMAZING language and something you should respect, after all you are in "their" country now. DO NOT EXPECT PEOPLE TO SPEAK TO YOU IN ENGLISH! But don't worry when you go home you will be ACE at playing 30seconds!!

(pic from http://korean-muzik.forumotion.co.uk)

4)Food and their odours.

The food in Korea is PHENOMENAL! I absolutely love it here and am at times disappointed that my menu is always limited by the fact that i am a vegetarian. I hope you like spicy....i REALLY HOPE you like spicy! ;)

There smells that are associated with some foods that still don't make me all that happy.  The only one i REALLY don't like is the smell of roasting squid.  The best way i can describe it is like burning hair with a fishy twang to it... (Oooohhh i also don't like the smell of silkworm larvae stewing on the streets).

(Pics taken from http://www.flickr.com/photos/soemmia/588543106/

and http://jiaseemee.wordpress.com respectively)

5) Bowing and taking your shoes off.

This is actually a fun one.  I am sure you will all be unsure of what to do at times, and when that happens to me I just smile and bow. The more uncertain I am the deeper I tend to bow, hahaha.  Bowing is an important part of the Korean culture and it can convey different messages.  A deep bow is respectful, whereas a nod of a bow, would imply superiority. So don't smile and nod, SMILE AND BOW :) .  You will also have to take your shoes off A LOT! And watch your students faces when you tell them that you walk in your house with your shoes on.. :)

(pic taken from http://www.nypie.com) 

Do not let this post scare you. That is not the intent behind it. I just want you to be a little more prepared than I was when I touched down for the first time in Korea (after my agency messed up and my bank card didn't work and I had to spend a weekend alone in a "love motel" before trekking to my school...but that's a whole different post altogether) HAHAHAHA   

So welcome to South Korea my friends. May good fortune shine on you always. Enjoy it, rock out and Marc you carry on feeling buff!!!

the art of illusions.

So last weekend 명우 and I went to an exhibition called "Miracle Art" (미라클 아트).

It is nothing like the Picasso or Monet exhibitions that have graced South Korea, but something quite different.

All the pieces make use of optical illusions, in some way or form. The majority of the work is painted on to appear 3 dimensional on the 2 dimensional walls. Other pieces make use of video feedback loops or even literally smoke and mirrors (okay, not smoke but there were definitely mirrors).

All the pieces have instructions on where to stand or how to pose, and the idea is to become part of the art yourself.

I realise this is not everybody's cup of tea, but i thought it was a great hour and a bit of fun and laughter.

If you are in Seoul and interested at all it will be running until the 1st of March 2011.

The knitting classes are finally paying off

Unwrapping my Monet

Moving some of the art around.

Making myself heard (how real does that megaphone look?!?)

Waking up in Vincent's room

Myung Woo is taller than me....quite a lot taller than me.

'Enjoy the Coke side of life'

Hanam, Gyungi Do, South Korea....it's also home

Well seeing as this is my first ever blog, I thought it wise to introduce you to strange old me, and to where I find myself. I wont bore you with what you can read in my bio already.  So.... simply I fell into the teaching profession by absolute accident but loved it so much that I went back to Uni to get a post grad teaching qualification.  Back home I find myself in the science and biology classrooms and laboratories of high schools, while in South Korea I teach English to the same age group.  
This experience has taught me that it is easy to speak your mother-tongue but not always simple to explain it. It has also meant brushing up on the bits and bobs of those English lessons I used to daydream through, when I myself was a student.
What I haven't mentioned so far is that I can be rather...Hmmmmm...lazy (?) at times and thus wonder about the success of keeping a blog going??? Anyway, we'll see...
so stay tuned and keep in touch for a little bit of Al in So-Ko :)